Lesson 13: A Freedom and a Funeral - A Tale of Two Spiders

  Well, it wouldn't be Fifth Grade without a class pet.  I can't say I'm really the gerbil/hamster type, and a turtle would be fun for a few days until the students would inevitably lose interest. I could totally imagine my class getting really excited about having some tiny fluffy mascot that they will take turns caring for, and just like parents and puppies, I would be the one looking after a small creature who I don't even like...
  So when my students asked for a class pet, I turned  it into a joke, claiming the numerous spiders and bugs in our classroom as our pets.  But that changed when a fourth grader came running into my classroom at lunch, proclaiming, "Are you Mr. Stoddard?"

I gave a hesitant "...yes..."
The student replied, "We need you in 4C! Oh- and you'll need that" referring to a clear plastic container on a desk.
  I walked over to the fourth grade building and as I entered the 4C classroom, I saw all the students huddled in one corner staring with equal parts curiosity and trepidation at the bottom of the bookshelf. As I walked over one of the girls exclaimed, "Our hero is coming!!"
  With only the vaguest idea of what I had gotten myself into, and feeling some pressure to make it epic, I lifted up the Battleship game on the bottom shelf and saw... the BIGGEST SPIDER EVERRRRRR! Okay, maybe not ever, but it was pretty big and definitely a scream-inducer for any fourth grader. I nonchalantly scooped the spider into the plastic container and put the lid on it, amid screams and gasps and incorrect identification of the creature as "cucaracha!".  I took the opportunity to explain the difference between spiders and insects like cockroaches (I'll give you a hint: it's the legs) after which I returned to my classroom with the imprisoned beast.
  When my students came back to class they all gawked and expressed interest in our new classmate. I don't know if it was the comforting layer of plastic between them and it, but the students were exponentially less fearful of it than the fourth graders. The students then asked several important questions: "What is the spider's name?" (Answer: Peter Parker...get it?); "What does it eat?" (Answer: I have no idea, probably bugs, let's try throwing one in there...); and "Can I buy the spider?" (with tokens, to which I applied the impossible-to-attain price of $9.00)

See the resemblance??

  So the next few weeks were filled with the laughter, cheer and warmth that can only come from having a ferocious arachnid living in the classroom.  A few days after acquiring Peter, some of my students told me after recess one day that they had found a friend for him. It was another spider, not as big, who Fernando had  inexplicably named Philip. We put them together in the same tennis ball can, wondering if they would be friends or if one would eat the other. Either way was fine with me, since Peter still had yet to eat anything.  But alas, they weren't very interesting, and neither one would eat the various dead and living insects I had offered them.
  Another week went by.  Fernando and Julio made posters for Philip and tried to declare him the superior spider.  I think they wanted to start a debate/competition/battle over which eight-legged friend was the best, but it didn't really catch on.  Someone mentioned that they had a spider another year and they gave it Skittles which it sucked the juices out of. I didn't have any Skittles, but I gave our spiders a caramel candy. Bad idea. I had already put some tree bark in there thinking they would use it to make a web.  Between that, the gelatinous blob that was once a candy, and the dead bugs strewn about, Peter and Philip's home was looking like a regular Bachelor Pad.

Peter at the somewhat-depressing end
stages of his tenure as 5B Class Pet

  Several days passed, and the spiders still didn't eat anything.  One morning I came in and there was considerably less movement when I picked up the spider house.  Philip didn't make it through the night.  And Peter was still alive, but he wasn't looking very active.
  At recess, we had a double ceremony - a Funeral and a Freedom.  We started by burying Philip out in the flower bed, with me singing Amazing Grace and Liana giving the eulogy. It was a touching ceremony.
  We then moved over to the garden to release Peter.  Thinking another song would be appropriate, the first thing I thought of was "Free Fallin".  Liana turned to me and said in a completely straight-forward tone, "Mister, why are you singing Tom Petty? Don't you think Queen would be more appropriate?" and she launched into a rousing rendition of "I Want to Break Free". So, a fifth-grade Honduran girl knows her Classic Rock!? I'm impressed...
  So that was that. Philip had a headstone, and Peter had the freedom to go find food for himself.  At first, our classroom seemed a little more empty, a little less joyful, and we had a much lower total number of legs.  But Philip and Peter will always live on in our hearts.  And we can be comforted to know that Peter Parker is out there somewhere searching for Skittles with Queen songs stuck in his head.